So. What comes to mind when you think "I'm sick?"
Surely, sore throat, blocked nose, ear splitting headache, loss of appetite. All that jazz. But what people rarely put into perspective is the enormous amount of tissues that end up either in your bin or scattered around your bed. Basically biological landmines that will spread your virus to anyone that dares touch it. Since waking up I have already gone through two toilet rolls of tissues. TWO TOILET ROLLS. And counting. There is nothing more disconcerting that blowing your nose full strength in the middle of the night in the toilet knowing that you'll probably be spending well over an hour in there. And another thing. Why, oh why, do our body clocks get thrown off when we are sick. I went to sleep at 10ish last night and woke up at freaking 3am. I haven't gone back to sleep since. What compels me to wake up at 3am you may ask? I thought it was 6am. Or rather my brain was like "derp." and made a mistake. Regardless of the body clock being a natural wonder and often waking me up minutes before my alarm, this is not a time I would like to be up and about. And when you wake up from a sick induced slumber its not quite the same as waking up all peaches and cream. Eyes are heavy, hands are sweaty, snot down all my nose already. Now I know what you're thinking. The answer is no, we had pizza for dinner last night (but how great would that line had been if we had spaghetti instead right). Stumbling to the toilet I find myself in a daze as I struggle to breathe through my fully blocked nostrils. And the rest you know.
What does one do when one cannot sleep at 3am in the morning? Movies. Oodles and oodles of movies. Thank you nanoTorrent, you have just replaced 4-5 hours of sleeping time with Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and Thor. I feel its always best to watch the lesser of two movies first as it dramatically lowers expectations for the second and leaves you generally feeling amazing at the end of your watching experience. However, I decided to go against my own ideals and watch the Tom Cruise action flick first. I do not understand how at that age the man looks that ripped. Absolutely ridiculous. Apparently they forgot to mention on the movie synopsis that he's also taken a page out of Wolverine's book and has enhanced healing powers; just about every fall he suffers is just waved away, and a dive roll out of a moving 70mph convertible leaves him with nothing more than a limp. Oh no. Poor Ethan. Don't worry folks, next scene he's fine. The movie did not fail to disappoint however, with some pretty sick action scenes and sweet gadgets and gismos. A more or less believable story line, although there could have been more work done on the backstory of the villian; then again MI4 will always be a comparison to MIII which I thoroughly enjoyed. How good was this movie? On a scale of acting abilities between Tommy Wiseau and Johnny Depp, it rates at about a Brad Pitt for me.
And then I had to go and watch Thor.
The best part was, I knew it was shit. I had seen it before. But I thought, nah, let's give it a chance, maybe I was just in a bad mood. Whores Ship. That's right. I'm not even going to waste valuable swear words on a movie like Thor. Some damn near amazing CGI. BUT THE STORY LACKS IN EVERY WHICH WAY IMAGINABLE. Sweet, Loki's legit the bad guy, and he's legit tricking everyone, nice acting brah. Oh look, they woke Anthony Hopkins from his grave to play Odin? I don't know about you guys but his acting looked pretty dead to me at some points. I know he's real old and stuff but I mean COME ON. ACT BETTER. He pretty much spat out half his lines, I don't think he knew what he was saying. Thor was pretty convincing as was half his Entourage, but I mean really? Chuck a token Asian in there and expect him to have any real purpose? All of the other "SuperFriends" had characters, he was just some Kung Fu expert that usually completes the typical action genre. A couple of lines, some sweet spinning kicks and knifeplay but COME ON. Give the guy a backbone for crying out loud. He has no personality. None. Whatsoever. He reminds me of that stereotypical Asian kid that sits at home studying all day all the time, has no room for a social life, but instead of becoming a doctor or a lawyer, he becomes Mr. Mysterious and No-Personality McGee. BUILD ON THE LOVE STORY WITH NATALIE PORTMAN. They had like one scene. I would have loved to see her interact more with Thor. It legit seemed like they were only friends. The entire time. At the end I found myself picturing them as the stars of Friends with Benefits, but then that got real complicated because Justin Timberlake was Thor and Mila Kunis was Jane (Portman's character) and instead of the Troupe of Supporting Actors it was N*Sync, and blah blah blah. Again, I'll say I'll watch it because of the brutish oaf in me that wants to see explosions and nicely done animation and fighting. But in terms of an intellectual pursuit? The movie is about as engaging as an operating manual written for a toaster.
20 minutes of sleep later. I find myself awake (ZING). I skipped the part about going to have breakfast at 6 because frankly, some of you may find it disgusting that I have cold pizza at 6am in the morning BUT in my defence, it was homemade. And nomlicious. Walk into the living room with a new toilet roll. Mum and the sister are sitting there watching lord knows what. I grab some more pizza and head back to my room, confirming that my suspicion that the women had already gained control of the TV and there was no bargaining.
Also if you aren't already playing Treasure Madness on Facebook, you should cause uh. I need health packs to keep exploring. And food is pretty scarce. So yeah. Thanks in advance.
1 hour of mindless self indulgence later. I walk back into the living room and no ones there. Which means I get to flick to Nickelodeon to watch me some Penguins of Madagascar. Now, I know haters gonna hate at this point, but I find the show genuinely well-written and funny. So continue to hate. Only thing that should be changed is they put Sacha Baron Cohen as the voice of King Julian, the new guy doesn't have the same appeal. But as usual, Dad rocks up and claims his throne so I quickly vacate and go to play some more Treasure Madness. Like the game is actually pointless. Biggest time-filler of my life. Second only to Farmville. LOL JK. Treasure Madness is probably worse than Farmville, no lie.
Some other things happen. The great thing about being sick is you can use it to your advantage. Dad go buy me this. Milos go fetch me that. I've fallen and may require immediate assistance to find a pillow so I don't have to move. So I sit here, pretty much abusing being unhealthy. Drinking my Panadol Cold and Flu mixer to pump drugs into my already aching body. I'm pretty sure the cause of pain in my ribs is blowing my nose so hard that my lungs are just collapsing. Maybe I need a lung within my lung to do its breathing for it, so that the original can take 5 while the new one works doubletime trying to keep up. These are the types of thoughts that cross my mind when I am high on paracetemol. I also wouldn't recommend anyone to ever touch my keyboard ever again. I just sneezed on it. Keep away if you're low on toilet paper.
Should I keep writing or not. Tell me what you bitches think.
SBomb OUT.
